I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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