My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
