Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
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