Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
