I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
