strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize