everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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