Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize