Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
