She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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