Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
