You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize