The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
