So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
