dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
