Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
