wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
