I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
