hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
