She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
