I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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