four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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