I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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