we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
