So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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