No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
whose ass print is on the piano?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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