the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
4 words: hood of his car
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
