We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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