I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
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i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
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My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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