Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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