Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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