I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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