My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize