You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
