Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me