After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
