Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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