i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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