seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
