That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
