bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
