So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Its about making memories worth repressing
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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