Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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