Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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