When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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