just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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