There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize