Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
