It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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