Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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