Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
