whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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