I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
