Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
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bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
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So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere