Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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