No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.