do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday