Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I'm down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents (1-519): I'm down. http://tfl.nu/zb30
  Replies (23) Good night (3087) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL. http://tfl.nu/d3ky
  Replies (29) Good night (627) Bad night (7625)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut. http://tfl.nu/l4ub
  Replies (24) Good night (645) Bad night (5854)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  giving yourself 2 days to recover i see

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): giving yourself 2 days to recover i see (828): I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night. http://tfl.nu/33op
  Replies (11) Good night (4619) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely... http://tfl.nu/3vo6
  Replies (3) Good night (1600) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list http://tfl.nu/7gq6
  Replies (4) Good night (1229) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Is there a law against that?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Is there a law against that? (717): Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life. http://tfl.nu/tyhd
  Replies (5) Good night (3417) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.

  (1-239): View more from Florida

  I told you I'd buy you lunch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail. (1-239): I told you I'd buy you lunch. http://tfl.nu/jsln
  Replies (8) Good night (997) Bad night (1775)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate. http://tfl.nu/j5ej
  Replies (10) Good night (1724) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.

  (972): View more from Texas

  Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift. (972): Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking. http://tfl.nu/jm0q
  Replies (23) Good night (2637) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die. http://tfl.nu/c7go
  Replies (4) Good night (1423) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  i'll probably be on drugs forewarning

  (503): View more from Oregon

  forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): i'll probably be on drugs forewarning (503): forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you http://tfl.nu/wpmw
  Replies (1) Good night (1237) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?" http://tfl.nu/n4cr
  Replies (10) Good night (568) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad http://tfl.nu/6sd1
  Replies (1) Good night (334) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us. http://tfl.nu/te9o
  Replies (3) Good night (695) Bad night (374)

Randomize