Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!

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  (810): The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure! http://tfl.nu/zlj2
  Replies (1) Good night (1163) Bad night (1865)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Say something about gay babies.

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  (605): Say something about gay babies. http://tfl.nu/ehqd
  Replies (15) Good night (1262) Bad night (1632)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow

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  (908): this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow http://tfl.nu/cbkl
  Replies (12) Good night (735) Bad night (4418)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.

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  (702): It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life. http://tfl.nu/mba1
  Replies (18) Good night (3370) Bad night (2585)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster

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  (870): We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster http://tfl.nu/c1fy
  Replies (3) Good night (846) Bad night (1790)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her

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  (905): She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her http://tfl.nu/rw3c
  Replies (8) Good night (2418) Bad night (1035)
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  (209): View more from California

  He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia

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  (209): He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia http://tfl.nu/8vrp
  Replies (10) Good night (735) Bad night (2028)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.

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  (717): Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment. http://tfl.nu/vmb7
  Replies (2) Good night (1483) Bad night (879)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?

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  (814): I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel? http://tfl.nu/5b1y
  Replies (2) Good night (535) Bad night (1118)
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  (805): View more from California

  Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.

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  (805): Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes. http://tfl.nu/5iyn
  Replies (5) Good night (1742) Bad night (489)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.

  (281): View more from Texas

  i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.

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  (832): i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice. (281): i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building. http://tfl.nu/bxit
  Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (469)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.

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  (214): She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor. http://tfl.nu/92v5
  Replies (5) Good night (473) Bad night (1195)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?

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  (612): Did you put pizza in my boxers last night? (1-612): I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day? http://tfl.nu/wnhf
  Replies (0) Good night (438) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just want nice things and good sex

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  (732): I just want nice things and good sex http://tfl.nu/04u5
  Replies (12) Good night (1244) Bad night (329)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.

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  (443): Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week. (410): Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you. http://tfl.nu/4f2r
  Replies (0) Good night (443) Bad night (297)

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