I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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