I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
