I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize