I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
