Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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